hooray!blog

Hooray for bonobos!

Bonobos are a wonderful thing, so much like people that learning about them is teaching us more about us! Sadly, P-suke the bonobo passed away during preparation for hernia surgery this past Friday. 27-year-old P-suke was a resident at the Great Ape Trust of Iowa, who I think you should send some money , because they deserve it more than most people that are asking you to send them some!

On the subject of higher primates in the news, President George W Bush reiterated his wishes (in his weekly radio address this morning) to continue cutting more taxes and spending more money. A source has suggested that this is all part of his "master plan" to guarantee the Democratic Party will completely dominate everything after his term comes to an end.


BORN ON THIS DATE: Käthe Kollwitz , 1867, artist

DIED ON THIS DATE: Dick Sargent (Darren #2) , 1994 of prostate cancer. Are you a man over 40? Don't die of ignorance. Get yourself checked!
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Hooray for maggots!

Maggots will soon be feasting on Ken Lay! Hooray! Unfortunately, because he has assumed room temperature and will be unable to launch an appeal, this fine fellow will not be sentenced as he rots, and his wife gets to keep everything. It's enough to shake my faith in capitalism. But not much. Would you like to buy some decorative stock certificates?

How Ken Lay cheated justice


Closing price for Enron today (same as yesterday) $0.00/share


BORN ON THIS DATE: Ringo Starr, 1940, in Dingle, famous for replacing Pete Best as drummer in some band in Liverpool.

DIED ON THIS DATE: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 1930, probable engineer of The Piltdown Man Hoax
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Hooray for Nancy!

Hooray for the First Prune! Born this day in 1833, Nancy Reagan, widow of former President Ronald Reagan, celebrates her 173rd birthday today! And doesn't look a day over 120!


Here's a recipe for pruno! in celebration!

BORN ON THIS DATE: Frida Kahlo, 1907, Mexico's greatest painter, famous for having been married to a large immoveable object, and having invented the monobrow.

DIED ON THIS DATE: Writer Kenneth Grahame, 1932, who said "It is the restrictions placed upon vice by our social code which makes its pursuit so peculiarly agreeable"
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Hooray for myocardial infarction! Hooray for the fickle finger of fate!

Yes, I was one of the idiots that invested in Enron, but I was lucky enough to lose only part of my shirt. My lack of faith was definitely shaken this morning when I heard "Kenny Boy" had departed this dear earth after suffering a massive heart attack. Divine intervention? Maybe not. Of course it is sad when anybody loses their life, but it was hard to feel too sorry for this shrewd & greedy businessman whose last financial deal was to dodge decades in prison and a probable $43.5 million judgment just by stopping breathing!

Some of Mr.Lay's more memorable comments include:

“My personal belief is that Enron stock is an incredible bargain at current prices, and we will look back a couple of years from now and see the great opportunity that we currently have."

“The company is doing extremely well.”

"We don't break the law."

"Am I a fool? I don't think I'm a fool. But I think I sure was fooled."

So were we, Mr.Lay, so were we.

Here's a list of pension funds that lost money because of your shananigans!


BORN ON THIS DATE: Artist Jean Cocteau, flim-flam artist P.T.Barnum, and Boxheaded 'musician' Huey Lewis.

DIED ON THIS DATE: Kenneth Lay, William Faulkner, and Ted Hey! Where's my head? Williams.

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Hooray for Liberty! (But not for 'Liberty University'!)

The apparently hard-working and ignorant yet ambitious son of Carey H. Falwell, (an agnostic who died of of cirrhosis), a young fellow by the name of Jerry Lamon Falwell celebrates 50 years of profit through preaching this week. From humble beginnings as pastor of a 30-odd member church housed in a closed soda-bottling factory, the delighful Mr.Falwell (who has assured the world the anti-Christ will soon be here, and will be a Jew!) has risen to prominence & wealth by preaching the message that blacks are stricken with the "Curse of Ham", HIV/AIDS is his god's punishment for homosexuality, and that the events of 9/11 were probably god's way of telling American's that the ACLU and abortion are 'evil'. What a truly delighful fellow! In 1994, when he was having a few financial "hiccups", Mr.Falwell's Liberty University accepted $3.5M from another equally delightful pile of human waste, The "Reverend" Sun Myung Moon

Among my favorite Falwell quotes:

Demostrating his grasp of 'common sense':

"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them." -Falwell, on CNN's Crossfire, May 17, 1997

His 'consistent' message:
"I think the Moslem faith teaches hate"
"If I were president of the United States, I would include Moslems in my presidency"
And as if to prove he is a regular clergyperson who can really 'think for himself', he said:
"I am such a strong admirer and supporter of George W. Bush that if he suggested
eliminating the income tax or doubling it, I would vote yes on first blush."

Here are few entertaining links showing what a fine, upstanding fellow Mr.Falwell really is!

http://www.tylwythteg.com/enemies/falwell.html

http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/quotes/foulwell.htm

http://www.funnystrange.com/quiz/



BORN ON THIS DATE: Herman Hesse , 1877

DIED ON THIS DATE: Mario Puzo, 1999, & Jimmy Stewart, 1997

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